From the pen of Turlough Ó Maoláin ...

The Chronicles of Bulgaria

They Think I’ve Gone Berserk


This is a poem I wrote about forty years ago. I was working as a waiter in a cocktail bar at the time. My dear friend Anthony Healey found the faded manuscript in a dusty old trunk in an attic. He picked it out, he shook it up and turned it around. Turned it into something new with his music.



Their third hit and probably their most melodic so far. Poetic licence was pushed to the limit but they had to do that to maintain the dynamic flow of the rhythm and rhyme. – Melody Maker


Not very good. – The Dagenham Advertiser


Words by Turlough Ó Maoláin

Music by Anthony Healey

Choreography by the Ed Miller Band



They Think I’ve Gone Berserk – A Football Anthem


I’ve had a letter in the Evening Post.

I’ve asked my mates at work.

They think I’m daft. An imbecile!

They think I’ve gone berserk.

That’s what they think,

That I’ve gone berserk.


I’ve asked my wife. She’s leaving

If I don’t give it up.

She’ll change her mind, I’m sure she will,

When we win the FA Cup.

‘Cause we’re gonna win,

We’re gonna win the FA Cup.


I’ve told my kids I’ll buy them

A great big sticky bun

And a year’s supply of Crunchies

But they just still won’t come.

Oh, no they won’t,

No they will not come.


I’ve asked my Ma and Sister.

I’ve even asked the cat.

But they’re too busy and in a rush,

To be bothered with all that.

Yeah, I’m telling you man

They’re real busy cats.


I’ve asked my Cousin Kevin,

Uncle James and Auntie Joyce.

They’d rather move to Stoke, they said,

If they had to make a choice.

In Stoke they’re saying

‘Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!’


I’ve asked the postman and the milkman,

The paperboy as well,

If they’d go there with me.

They just said, ‘Now go to Hell’.

That’s what they said.

They said ‘Going to Hell’.


The only person tempted

Was my beloved Nan.

But then she went and changed her mind

Because she’s a Boro fan.

And I’m telling you man

She’s a Boro fan.


Its such an awful shame.

A wrong that should be righted.

That no one will accompany me

When I watch Leeds United.

That’s what I said,

When I watch Leeds United.



Link to music video


The old Lowfields Road stand at the Elland Road stadium in Leeds in 1985.

The old Lowfields Road stand at the Elland Road stadium in Leeds in 1985.


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