From the pen of Turlough Ó Maoláin ...

The Chronicles of Bulgaria

Fantasies of Enya


I'd like to be the owner of a butcher's shop in Newry.

I'd like to shake my hips about and sing like Billy Fury.

I'd like to be a cosmonaut like Pavel, Lev and Yuri.

But it's my dream to write some songs as good as Ian Dury.


I'd like to ride a bike like Lance in the Tour de France in France.

I'd like to be a brain surgeon just given half a chance.

I'd like to join a ballet school to pirouette and prance.

I long to hypnotise Ed Sheeran, put him in a trance.


I'd like to have a well-paid job and big house like Joe Biden.

I'd like to have a three pronged fork and go fishing with Poseidon.

I'd like a shiny sideboard with a fruit bowl and a vase on.

Or own the M6 toll road with all those buses, trucks and cars on.


I'd love to be the goalkeeper for Ireland or for Leeds.

I'd love to help a Third World country out with all their needs.

I'd love to stop the politicians with their dirty deeds.

I'd shove a stick up Boris Johnson's arse until it bleeds.


How great to cook an omelette just like Delia or Jamie.

And ban the Christmas Brussels sprout. I'm sure no one would blame me.

Or play the lead part in a film of Ayatollah Khomeini.

I'd gladly do it just for fun. They wouldn't need to pay me.


I wish that I'd met Gandhi, Lennon or Josephine Baker.

I wish they'd bring back fish and chips all wrapped up in newspaper.

I hope that I'm completely dead when I meet my undertaker.

And if my missus is asleep my snoring doesn't wake her.


I think I'll have a party and invite just Debbie Harry.

But it's Siouxsie, Scary or Kate Bush I'd really like to marry.

Though I’ve fantasies of Enya wearing hobnail boots and sari.

I hope she enjoys winkles, whelks and a bit of calamari.


I've wished for many things but in my life I can't complain.

I've nothing much to moan about but some minor aches and pains.

I've had a ball, three kids and all the joys that they contain.

And should I ever get the chance I'd do it all again.





Once again my long-time friend Anthony Healey has put my words to music. So just click on the link if you want to shake your head to the rhythm or shake your head in dismay.


Video Link



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